September 24, 2009

Songs that Annoy My Parents

So I am living with the folks again, and I am not enthused. After two years of essentially having my own "space" I am now sharing a roof with two perpetually anal people. Don't get me wrong I love my parents -- I do, but I also love spending time AWAY from my parents. Take this scenario:

Dad: You have a doctor's appointment today right?

MusicGeek: Yep, right after class.

Dad: So what are you going to talk to the doctor about?

MusicGeek: Um I don't know refilling my prescription of Zoloft?

Dad: Anything else? You know these doctor appointments cost money, and we can maximize the amount of money we save on health insurance if you can address multiple health concerns during your appointment.

MusicGeek: But I don't have any other health concerns...

Dad: Aw c'mon you can tell me if you do. If I had erectile dysfunction I would tell my doctor--I don't, but if I did I would!

MusicGeek: (mouth is agape cannot talk, trying to repress horrible thoughts)

So yeah...I love my dad but sometimes he divulges way too much information for me to handle.

Another thing that annoys is me is coming home from school. At UofT I would come back to a nice empty dorm room, I wouldn't be bombarded with "how was your day!" and "how was class?" and "tell us all about your professors!" I know, I know, its great that my parents want to take such an active role in my life! Please make it stop. I hate it when they go all "after school special" on me. Sometimes I pretend we are on the Andy Griffith Show and I'm female form of course. So, in reaction to living at home I have retreated to the basement, to hang out with all the spiders and centipedes while typing papers and blog posts on my laptop at night. My parents don't bother me down here, but as an extra precaution I also "parent proof" my music. It creates a wall of sound that keeps my folks pretty much a 100 kilometer distance away from me at all times. The tip to creating a parent proof playlist? Make sure you choose songs that you like (obviously or else its pointless) but are also slightly annoying. This way you can enjoy your alone time, and your folks will let you.

So here is mine:

Black Kids - Hurricane Jane
Love this song, but after awhile the wailing from the girls in the background gets a bit obnoxious. However whenever I play this my folks NEVER want to be around me.

Alphabeat - Fascination
They are so happy! TOO HAPPY. Ever heard the phrase kill them with kindness? Well this is like a lethal sugar overdose. Although I should mention, they made one kick ass album.

NWA - Straight Outta Compton
Oh yes I am hitting below the belt. Whenever I blast this from my room or Fuck Da Police...or any NWA for that matter, my parents' noses begin to scrunch up. I will admit, I just ranted about Letoya's song being derogatory towards women and this song is like a thousand times worse...however since NWA is not talking about a "specific female" and basically they are cursing left and right at everyone, police, other guys, people in general I don't get as offended.

The Apples in Stereo - Can You Feel It?
Oh my parents sure can...and they are not Apples fans that's for sure.

Neutral Milk Hotel - In The Aeroplane Over The Sea
I feel like such a "white person" when I listen to this song. And before you get all offended the white person reference is to a book called "Stuff White People Like" I got it for my birthday from friends at UofT and it unfortunately explains my whole life. However getting back to the song, the lead singer's voice entering my parents' ears is as good as a fog horn...I happen to like this album however.

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