July 31, 2009

Where's my Peter Doherty? Without The coke addiction...

I mean seriously...I am yearning for male contact here, girls have needs too! After being called a "prude" for not putting out on a first date mostly because I have STANDARDS and don't really want to become a human petri dish for STDs I'm getting a tad impatient. Buffalo is starting to wear on me a bit...or a lot, its not my fault I live in a cultural wasteland. After analyzing my own dating history I am starting to feel like a freak of nature, I never was kissed in high school (mostly because I looked 13 in 10th grade) I have never had a boyfriend...and at this point I am going to end up alone with cats. I guess I could get caught up with the whole "maybe its me" complex but quite honestly ladies and gentlemen I really am not that bad looking (I mean I'm not gorgeous but I happen to think I'm not hideous either)...really that picture in my profile...that's what I look like! no photoshop, no tinkering....however I do have an issue with censorship, and me being way too honest may have something to do with my lack of action. You see, I am a huge jackass, and I'm proud of it. That doesn't mean I am mean or impolite, I just have a serious problem with sarcasm and I can't control myself once its starts. Especially in a place like Buffalo where I can't take anything seriously, people here take themselves seriously enough, I think its my job to scale their egos down just a tad. In the tiny dating world of Buffalo this makes me an outcast, along with the fact that I can't converse in Buffalo sports, and I hate frat parties and beer pong...ok so I'm a loser...but only in Buffalo, which makes me a generally cool person in every other major city. I learned that I could actually fit in when I moved to Toronto, I had friends, I had fun....I don't think I bored them....but now being back at home I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall every time I have to venture outside my house. Either I'm stuck with drool coming out my mouth listening to some guy talk about how much he loves the "Italian Festival" or "The Taste of Buffalo" or "The Sabres" or I'm making people scared with my sarcastic retorts...help me I'm in hell.

And that's where Peter Doherty comes in. All I need is a ticket to London, an apartment and a cute Doherty look a like with a guitar (and without the rehab and Kate Moss baggage please). If only life were that easy, I could prance around in my skinny jeans and converse shoes, go to local gigs, hang out in pubs and wander around Notting Hill looking for Hugh Grant...

So to calm myself down, I decided to pick a few songs from English artists I wouldn't mind dating...because I am free! I have lots of time! Please....................................................call me?

The Libertines - Can't Stand Me Now
Pete Doherty and Carl Barat wine and moan about a failed relationship, but I'll always be able to stand you Peter (even if you are a drug addict)!

Bloc Party - Sunday
Another band I think people are well aware I'm obsessed with, seeing them in concert was a life changing experience, not only because I'm a crazed fan but because I got to so Kele Okereke in the flesh! I think my friend Shelly was a bit scared by my Kele obsession...

The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age of the Understatement
A side project for Alex Turner of The Arctic Monkeys (who have a new album coming out by the way you can listen to the first single here) and Miles Kane of The Rascals...the music is great, and so are the guys (in that Beatles, George Harrison sorta way).

The Kooks - Naive
One of my favorite songs from my last years of high school, they aren't the cutest guys, but their music is so good it adds to their overall attractiveness.


The Lily Allen cover is top notch as well:

The View - Same Jeans
They have the cutest accents, and made one of the most underrated albums of 2007. Although I'm not feeling the guy liner...and maybe singing about wearing "the same jeans for four days now," is a bit too honest for me...I like hygiene. But check out the song anyway!


The Cribs - Don't You Wanna Be Relevant?
Yes, yes I do...and I also like dancing decaying bodies in music videos...don't you? Now THAT'S attractive, but really they are a great band. (Go here to hear the Cribs song Men's Needs as well as a Kate Nash cover)

The Fratellies - Whistle For The Choir
I think if a guy wrote this song for me I would die...really just die, but I would be happy....However the lead singer looks a bit like Richard Simmons, I like to try to push that thought aside.

Maximo Park - Girls Who Play Guitars
A staple of my music collection, they are my favorite weirdos.

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