July 28, 2009

Its a dating jungle, if the jungle was located in Malaysia and was being deforested.

One of the things that really irks me about living in a place as closed minded as Buffalo, is not the abandoned buildings, or the chicken wings, or even the annoying Sabres fans...its the douche baggy Elmwood guys. You know the type, they walk around in their meticulously chosen urban outfitter threads, and the "I just got out of bed" hair and stubble. they are quite good looking, and know it, and hang together in droves outside Spot coffee, and play hacky sack on Bidwell Park. They work at Panos and like to think they are really "deep" and creative, just because they know how to play four chords on that guitar they have had since ninth grade (because they think it will get them girls...and it does). They are the ultimate indie snobs (or so they think) listing off obscure band after band (but they have never met me). These are the guys that make dating in Buffalo even harder for a girl like me. You see I can deal with the general stupidity of the frat boy type, the tendency to be drawn to shiny things and listen to All Time Low... well not very well but if they can kiss I can overlook that stuff...for at least a night. However, the Elmwood "hipster" dudes are a demanding and obnoxious crowd.

This weekend, me and my friend Lynn had another one of our "study" sessions and decided that this time we should venture out of her apartment into daylight to rejoin society and our peers. We went to Spot the "watering hole" of the Elmwood village. At this innocent looking cafe you get the sixteen year old scene kids mingling with the twenty year old burnouts and "artsy" types. Here, everyone thinks they are in a mini Greenwich Village (what I'd give to be in the real thing). They all dress to impress each other in their urban outfitters skirts and "vintage store finds" which you know they only dust off when they feel like parading around on the avenue. So of course a gaggle of guys was already positioning themselves outside Spot in order to survey the in-coming customers for potential mating partners. Who knew we would be barraged with musical pollution? I mean I have dealt with guys who sing, Mr X being the most notable, but guys singing with guitars and banging on beer bottles? Not so much....the worst part was I couldn't hold in my laughter, and I let out a huge snort/ laugh at the worst moment...oh boy. I just remember them all turning in our general direction and lecturing us on "musical appreciation" in which I laughed again...it was just so bad...like the guy at the party in Animal House bad. You know, that guy on the stairs with the guitar that John Belushi smashes into a billion pieces? (I posted the vid below) I have decided to stick to my normal haunts on Main St near UB and Allentown for a bit so I can hide in shame...

All I want is a guy who doesn't get off by looking at himself in the mirror, isn't an idiot, and can submit to my musical superiority? Please...is this like ultra demanding or something?

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