Marina and the Diamonds again...

So none of these songs are new, but for some reason I revisit this album over and over again, especially when I'm having an anxiety attack...which happens a lot. Marina and the Diamonds has helped me through many a time of curling up in a ball in the fetal position on my bed rocking back in forth thinking about the multitude of ways I have screwed up my life...including becoming an art major, haha. Yes the trials and tribulations of being a 20 something without any sort of guidance for a future career path, I feel like a lost sad starved puppy...but not as cute. And now more than ever I need music I can freak out to, especially since all my classmates from high school are now around for the dreaded summer after college graduation...and I of course am running into alllll of them...yeah. So then comes the dreaded "oh how are you?" and "what have you been up to?" And I have to start with "No I haven't finished undergrad yet!" followed by "I'm at Buff State now!" all the while holding a smile while gritting through my teeth as they tell me about what Law/Med/Grad school program they are going to in the fall. Then when I tell them I'm in art now (I am dual degree in chem...but art is my primary...) I get that strange cock-eyed stare, of "what happened to you?" This is probably because I was the girl who won every fucking science award, the girl with the highest regents standardized test scores, the one who went to the University of Toronto and swore I would never ever ever ever come back to Buffalo. Great. So essentially my strange transition disturbs some people including me...hence the panic attacks...but I think I have finally grasped the concept that I am neither completely artsy or sciencey but some strange hybrid in between, and unfortunately I crave a career that can give me a little of both. But until then I will continue to crawl into a ball and and yell the lyrics to Marina and Diamonds songs at the top of my lungs. Because I'm not satisfied with an average life.