Now that the festering pool of humanity known as the Italian festival is over, I can finally leave my house again and walk down Hertel Avenue...sweet relief. While many things in Buffalo try to be festivals, and showcase what's great about Buffalo, the Italian Festival showcases a gigantic blown up leaning tower of Pisa and lot's of non-Italian food...in reality there isn't really anything that makes the Italian festivals anymore different from the congested crowds of the "Taste of Buffalo" same amount of people wafting same amount of heart attack inducing food down throats in the same wife beaters they wore two weeks ago with the same stains acquired at the Taste of Buffalo. The only difference is, it's all "Italianized" now...now I know why there are little red, white and green lights everywhere!!! This has got to be just like Italy, I am totally sure that they love funnel cakes and fried things as much as we do...but in Italy funnel cakes are probably not really considered "Italian" its like "Jersey Shore Italian" and we know how many people from that cast are actually "Italian" well actually I don't but I know enough to know that the little orange gremlin thing on the show and the gigantic Amazonian woman with a huge rack are not...that's enough for me to declare that none of them are...
Anyways leaving the solitary confinement of my house and walking around my neighborhood in peace without the threat of prepubescent cat fights and maddening crowds is enough to warrant dancing in the streets. And I will....oh yes.
New Outside Column!
4 hours ago